Think about pleasure
Dilation can be a good way to explore the body sexually and to learn what feels good. When you feel aroused, your V often grows larger, naturally lubricates (‘gets wet’), and relaxes, making dilation easier.
Optional accessory: A Vibrator – Incorporating a vibrator into dilation can help. They come in all shapes and sizes—the smallest (often called a “bullet”) may be the same size as some small dilators. Many young women purchase a vibrator for the vulva/clitoris (the outside) to help make dilation more enjoyable. This helps the body relax even more. Some vibrators are marked as “back massagers” or “tension relievers.”
It can be difficult to ask about vibrators. Try asking your doctor, therapist, or an older female about this. Vibrators are available online, in stores and pharmacies. A company we like is Lelo and their Mia and the small-medium size Liv 2 (also available for less on Amazon).
Integrating a partner? Some people want to involve their partner in the process of dilation. To do this, you need to be open with your partner about your needs and your body—in particular, open enough to let them know when something feels good or when it doesn’t. If you feel like you can talk with them about having a V on the small side and you trust them, that is another way to know you are in a safe, positive, and loving relationship. On the other hand, you can take your time and dilate alone—it doesn’t need to be something you share with your partner, just an option you have if you want.