Picture This: It’s the end of a great second date. You’re really attracted to this incredible person—amazing eyes, gorgeous smile, heart of gold—and you can’t keep your hands off of each other. You’re kissing, and that leads to touching other parts of the body.
Now you have a choice:
-Do you keep on going without talking about what is comfortable for you?
-Or, do you take a break to discuss what is comfortable and how far you want to go, at this point?
It’s not always easy to take a break to talk and share what you like and what you don’t.
When you are physical, your brain works in a different way. It can be really overwhelming and emotional, and it can be thrilling. Without talking, it’s easy to misread your date’s signals.
Maybe you think your kiss is telling them “I just want to make out ALL night!” and what they are thinking it means is, “She’s into it—Let’s go further!”
In these moments, make sure to talk about yourself and not talk for your partner.
An expert tip is to start off with “I feel….” “I would like…” “I prefer…” “I want…” “I’d love…”
Starting off with “I…” is the way to go to make sure you can say what you need and your partner can say the same to you.
The most enjoyable experiences (sexually and otherwise) will come when you get to know your sexual self and are comfortable talking with your partner about what makes you feel good.