Step 3: getting the right mindset

Dilation is most successful when you are comfortable exploring your body. In general, starting at an older age or when you are thinking about sexual intimacy can make the process a lot easier and more effective.

  • Build your confidence—Much of the effort in the dilation process is mental. With this guide and your support map, you have good information and will hopefully understand this process.

But, there may be things that get in the way. As you go, try to identify obstacles that pop up and think about solutions to overcome them.Screen Shot 2016-03-06 at 11.52.20 AM

  • Why should you dilate? The goal of dilation is to have the option of comfortable and enjoyable vaginal penetrative sex. This could be with a partner or alone. Dilation can also be a good way for you to explore your body and become more comfortable with it.
  • When should you start dilating? There isn’t a fixed formula for all girls and women. However, the leading experts in dilation say that the best time to begin is when you are thinking about sex and romance, or when you have had some experience of exploring your body in sexual ways (either with a partner or by yourself.) Generally, the younger you are and the further you are from romance or wanting sex, the more awkward the process may feel.

If you want to try it anyway, that’s okay. Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work out at first. Try again when you feel more ready for a relationship or sexual intimacy.

  • What do you think about the dilators or about vibrators? What you feel when you look at and hold a dilator is pretty important. Some women say using vibrators are more comfortable—after all, plenty of women have vibrators in their drawers. Other women prefer to use their fingers, or try dilation with their partner. Use whatever works for you.

Step 4